It's been three weeks since I got back from Colorado. You're just left with so many thoughts.

Sometimes you feel like it was all for nothing. Like you go on this epic journey and adopt a brand new way of life for the first time but then you come back and what... just more of the same? I thought I would have some big life changing epiphany and completely change but truthfully? I just discovered that I really liked doing exactly that. And then you come back and you pick up right where you left off doing the exact opposite of that. But now you know what you want. How do you implement that? How do I live more sustainably for myself and how do I continue to invest in myself while working any job, much less a 9-5?

I miss that feeling. That feeling like your soul is on fire. Like you are doing exactly what you were designed to do. Like the sunshine and the physically active life and the wilderness have physically pumped up your serotonin and dopamine levels. Like you're surrounded by people that just get it and not by people that want nothing more from this life than to work and party.

But I don't know why I'm getting on that high horse. I mean that's really all I've done since I've been back. Three weeks back and all I've done is eat like shit, watch TV and go out with my friends. Three things I told myself I needed to cut out while on trail. But hell, you work 40-50 a week and get back on a Friday and you don't really wanna do much but go find your friends and relax then you wake up Saturday hungover and now what? There's most of your weekend. Whats the answer? Maybe I should join a climbing gym or a yoga studio or something.

It's funny, you get back and you get the most ridiculous questions. 'Didn't you get bored of the monotony?' I'm sick of the monotony of the orthodox life and its only been a few weeks since I've been back. Not one day felt monotonous on the trail. 'Weren't you ever afraid of the wildlife? Or the weather? Or the terrain?' I was absolutely terrified of how much I loved this and coming back. 'Do you feel satisfied now?' Less than ever.

I thought this trail would provide me with answers but all its given me are more questions.